I knew I liked girls at a very young age. I had no idea whether it was right or wrong, I didn’t know if there was a name for it, I didn’t care, I just knew girls made me feel funny in the best possible way. My friends and I would play “house” all the time and I always wanted to be the husband. We would hide in the closet and pretend to do grown up things together.
As I got older and went through puberty, my attraction to women only got stronger and I identified as a lesbian for a while. I wasn’t out but I was never ashamed of it, I never saw it as a bad thing, it felt natural. It was only when I realized that I was attracted to guys as well that I began to panic. I had no idea what bisexuality was at that time so I thought something was seriously wrong with me. I didn’t know if it was normal to like more than one gender, I thought I was crazy or something. My body and mind were a mess. I battled depression for most of my teen years, and it got so bad I had to be homeschooled for an entire school year. And yes, suicide crossed my mind more than once. And although I never told anyone, my sexuality played a big part.
But I survived that dark period, thank goodness. I found out that my attraction to more than one gender is very normal and nothing to be afraid or ashamed of. I am a proud bisexual woman. :)